Tuesday, February 10, 2009

I'm Not Going to Make It

True story (pinky-swear). After picking up both of my kids from their usual Tuesday after-school doings, we headed homeward this evening. Everything normal, yes? Except, for that one brief conversation that happened in the car. My thirteen year-old son started it by asking a seemingly simple question, and thereby catching this retort from his nine year-old sister:

Teen: "Dad, can I use a book that we have at home?"

Dad: "What book?"

Teen: "It's called 1001 Ways to be Romantic."

Dad: "What?!?"

Teen: "I'm not going to use it now. Later, when I'm a little older. You used it, right? With mom, I mean."

Dad: "Aw..."

Snotty Little Sister to Teen: "Oh...come...on! It's not a book that has directions in it. Just things to do, you dope. And it's not like they're going to work...unless it's written by a woman!"

And as Dad drove quietly home, he wondered if the ghost of his mother was cracking up at that very moment. I don't know if I'm going to make it till she's twenty-one...


  1. Oh, you'll make it, I have faith. But you might want to stock up on the Grecian Formula now.

  2. That boat sailed ages ago. I started turning gray by my early thirties--even before I got married and had kids!

  3. Oh my god! I'm in tears yet again! This is hilarious. I know you aren't a country music person, but you SO need to listen to "Cleanin' This Gun"!

    By the way, why DO you have that book in your house??? ;)

  4. Jen, I just found the lyrics to that song. They're soooo appropriate for my situation! And I've long ago mentioned to my daughter that I would be cleaning the 'hardware' whenever anyone comes by to pick her up for a date.

    As for that book, well...it is Valentine's Day soon. ;-)